Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
