During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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