I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Drunk is not a location!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
