The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
