Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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