i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
