that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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