John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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