Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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