She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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