Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
