She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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