Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
