i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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