Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
