At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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