do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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