3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
