What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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