Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
