overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
