So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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