When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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