Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
