we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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