Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
