I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
