U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Boobs are out for the taking
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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