i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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