Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
