How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
