...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
