Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
