i would punch a child for taco bell
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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