I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
