I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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