i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
