Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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