Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My breasts were aching with rage.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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