I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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