she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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