Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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