You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
