You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
