Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
