I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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