sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
