This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm passing your future prison.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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