I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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