Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
