Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
