I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
